fourthsaken | IC inbox!

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 005.04.008.13 * CHARACTER NAME/ALIAS has joined 005.04.008.13 <JADED> hey, you've reached Jade. <JADED> leave a message or whatever and i'll get back to you. <JADED>** God, I hope this shitty thing actually works.

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i'm not gonna be at work for very long. i left early because i figured you guys had romantic plans and would want privacy.

also i've got another lunch thing later and i hope it's not a huge deal? does any date on valentines day turn into a huge deal?

You live here too.
You don't have to prioritize us.

They don't have to be.
Don't you want it to be?

you guys are gonna be sickeningly adorable, i don't wanna be there for that.

maybe? i dunno. i barely know the guy. yeah, we figured out he's not a creep but the only thing i know about him is that he thinks the clothing i make is cool and he wants to listen to my music and learn about the future and stuff. oh yeah, do you think soeki will let me borrow his phone for a day?

We aren't that bad.
Are we?
Are we making you uncomfortable?

That's OK.
You've got plenty of time to get to know him.
I guess I just always wished my first relationship had been a bigger deal.
I keep thinking you're going to want the same thing.

He'll let you.
IDK if he'll like it if he finds out you borrowed it to show a guy without telling him though.

omg, it's not like that. you guys never make me uncomfortable, i just didn't want to be in your way.

it's just scarier if it's a big deal, you know?

i'll tell him. i know i should tell him.

You wouldn't have been.
You could have had breakfast with us.
It wouldn't have been that bad having to wait a few extra hours for some alone time.

I know.
If you don't want it to be a big deal it doesn't have to be.
Try not to worry about it too much at the moment.
You don't have to jump into anything you're not ready for.

Are you sure you're ready to?
You could borrow my phone if you wanted to.
I know our music tastes aren't exactly similar, but I'm sure there's something on there you don't think is terrible.

oh. okay. i still think it'd be weird to invade your valentine's day, but i'll remember that.

if i play him your music it definitely won't be a big deal. he'll never want to go on a date with me again.

It's just a dumb holiday.
It's nice to have an excuse to do something special, but we don't need to spend the whole day together.

Yeah, I'm sure he'll like hearing what My Chemical Romance did to Desolation Row much better.

[It's a tragedy this guy is probably never going to hear the original.]

just because you don't need to doesn't mean you don't want to.

do you really think he'll hate my music? shit, maybe this was a stupid idea...

We live together. Honestly, anything we do do isn't going to be that much different than normal.
You're coming back later, right?
After your date?

No.
I'm sorry.
He likes your clothes. He'll probably like your music too.
I don't get what you see in it, but he probably will.

you don't want me to crash at my studio tonight? i can. i don't mind.

i hope so. i really want him to like it. i want him to like me.

Of course not.
Not unless you want to stop there.

Even if he doesn't like it, that doesn't mean he won't like you.
Do you know how few artists I have in common with Soeki?
We still like each other.

no, if you don't mind, i'll come home tonight.

that's true. you guys don't like any of the same music and you're like, the best couple i know.

Sure.
Just let me know if you're going to be late back.

There are a few singers we both like.
We're not totally musically incompatible. ;)
We bond more over other interests though.
If he doesn't like your faves then you just need to find the things you do have in common.

okay, i will.

yeah, you're right. sorry i'm so bad at this shit. i've never done this before.

Thanks.

I know, but you'll get better.
Try not to worry about being good at it and focus on having fun.
Pretty much no one gets it right with their first relationship.

what was your first relationship like?

Not great.
I was way too clingy.
I was young and dumb and wanted it to mean more than it did to him.

But just because that was my experience that doesn't mean it will be the same for you.

how old were you?

wait, seriously? you were 19?

I wasn't confident.
I was too nervous to even go near a gay bar until then and I didn't know anywhere else I could meet guys.

it's okay. i'm not confident either. it's not like i'd be able to ask anyone out for myself.

You could do it.
I bet lots of guys would love to go out with you.
I know it's hard when you don't feel good about yourself though.

i don't know where you think these guys are, because i haven't met them. it's not just hard, it's fucking impossible.

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